Adventures in Church

I tried to stay more light-hearted in this entry but now I’m concerned that I was blasphemous. LOL Now, for those of you who don’t claim a religion, this entry will still be digestible to you. I won’t try to convert you, I merely aim to describe our adventures in church-going.

Bahaha I had to put one of these in my blog about church (although I am not Presbyterian)

Most people don’t necessarily know that I go to church every Sunday, now and for a majority of my life. I don’t think my persona screams “church go-er” and I don’t typically talk religion with people so many of my friends are surprised when they hear of my Sunday tradition. For the record, I’m Catholic and have been baptized, confirmed etc. I’ve been attending St. Paul’s Church for as long as my memory goes back. Now I hope I don’t anger God or incite some type of religious protests against me but I’m going to be honest about what church has meant to me throughout the years:

Ages 2-3: Socializing time – (so I’ve been told) I walked up and down the aisles as a toddler (mimicking our priest) shaking people’s hand when you give a sign of God’s peace.
Ages 4-9:  Snack time – I could eat fruit roll ups as long as I was quiet and wait for the moment when I was allowed to run down to the altar and hold hands with the other kids (during Our Father).  I loved being the center of attention even at the ripe age of 4.
Ages 10-17: Dating exploits – Always searching for at least 1 cute boy I could peek at periodically throughout church. Clearly as a preteen/teenager, I had my priorities right.
Ages 18-19: Romantic – As Rob attempts to win over my family, I manage get 1-2 years of church out of him. We hold hands throughout mass. Church cupcaking at its finest. (BLECH)
Ages 19-21: Sporadic – I’m not going to lie to you all, as soon as Saturday night became a legitimate party night, I went to church only sporadically. I’m sorry God.
Ages 22-current: Adventurous – First off, my relationship with church and God now a days are more faith-based, I legitimately pray throughout the ceremony and feel spiritually renewed every time church is finished. However now with Evalenn and Evan on the verge of being fully grown people, church has become more of an adventure. We manage to find a kid ferociously picking his nose or Evan says something we can’t stop laughing at. Sometimes I’m not gonna lie, Evalenn and I do a small hand gestured interpretive dance to gospel songs. It’s not meant to be disrespectful and for the most part we do genuinely part take in church appropriate behavior.

See, church can be funny?

Now the best part of our church going adventures is by far this huge family that we always sit a pew behind. It started as a joke because in the family, there was a boy around Evalenn’s age (this started when they were probably around 10 years old). He was a cute kid, and we started calling him her boyfriend. I don’t remember how or when it happened but slowly the family grew, and now they take up an entire pew. Here’s a rough, (probably creepy) breakdown

Family #1:
Tall Dad #1, Strict Mom#1, Cute Son (Evalenn’s Boyfriend) and Not so Cute Son (I know this is terrible to say but it’s just a fact)
Family #2:
Rich Dad #2, Small Asian Mom #2, Cute little Asian Son #1, Baby-to-Toddler Asian Son #2
Family #3:
Asian Dad #3, Skinny tall Asian Mom #3, and only sometimes do they have a Boy with them, probably a Son from another marriage?
Family #4:
Asian Mom #4 (We don’t actually know if she’s a Mom), and she comes with an adolescent age Daughter #1 (not sure if it’s her daughter…)
Family #5:
Bald firefighter Dad #5, Asian Mom #5, Cute Daughter #1 (looks like Dad), Even Cuter Daughter #2 (looks like Mom), and they just had the CUTEST Son #1 ever and he’s still a baby.

Put alllll these families together, and they take up 1 entire pew. We think they are related this way: Strict Mom #1 > Rich Dad #2 > Asian Dad #3 > Asian Mom#4 > Asian Mom #5. It’s actually a mixed race family (2 of the Dads are Caucasian) so the kids from Family #1 and Family #5 are all adorable mixed children.  We’ve literally seen the two Sons in Family #3 go from a car-seat to fully functional children (walking, talking etc).  I remember when the Daughters from Family #5 were both little and adorable toddlers, and now they’re probably around 6-8 years old. Evalenn’s “boyfriend” has grown from a kid to a 6 foot tall teenager. In essence we’ve actually seem a lot of these kids grown up, just by attending church weekly.

At least I'm not one of these guys, they're definitely in trouble.

Now the funny part about all this is that we don’t actually know them. We see them around town in Elk Grove and Dad #5 will usually say hi but for the most part, there’s no verbal acknowledgement when we run into Family #1. But nonetheless, when we notice something about them, our family will mention that “Big Family from Church”. We love watching what the kids do during church (Kids do the funnnniest things in church) and since the newest baby boy, all we can talk about is how cute he is. LOL. This blog entry has gone completely creepy and now I’m not sure how much I want to publish it.

Oh well. Too late.


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