They’d give US a house?

So Rob and I have been going back and forth about something for a long time.

Home Ownership.

We’re been together for almost 7 years (I’m working on our love story, it’s coming soon I promise!) and we’re pretty sure spending our lives together is the direction it’s headed (Rob feel free to pipe in if I’m speaking incorrectly for you 😉 ). But we’ve been waiting on a wedding until we felt more confident in our finances. Both of us know that we’re not in for a cheap wedding (and yes, Rob hasn’t even popped the question yet) plus we’ve been working full time for less than 2 years so that should answer the collective question of “Why haven’t you just gotten married already?!”

The wrench in the plan is that the housing market in Sacramento is SO good right now. For the last year, family members have been dropping hints about what a good time it is to buy and last summer, Rob and I even contacted a realtor. But I was the one to pull back the reins and let him know that I wasn’t comfortable signing on the dotted line, without tying the knot. Call me old fashioned but I’m a little anxious about signing ANY dotted lines. At the end of the day, I’m a romantic but I’m also a realist and heaven forbid Rob realizes I’m a complete psycho little too crazy, I wouldn’t want to complicate his quick break. So we put home buying on pause August of last year.

Well, the housing market got even better (Or I guess worse, if you’re selling). This summer, we’ve been seeing good starter homes with pools going for as little at $190,000 (in California, GASP), which we’re confident we qualify for. But I can’t help but feel overwhelmed about all of these crucial time points in life, potentially colliding. And we’re just not that interested in renting, because for what you pay in rent these days, you can own. Is it too old fashioned that I want us engaged before buying a house, even if the market is unbelievable? Is it possible to afford a wedding and buy a new house in the same time period? How does a new marriage survive both wedding planning and escrow? And if we were to get a house and finally decide to get married, could we learn to scale back our lives enough to make it all work? As if I needed to complicate things any further, what happens if I go to grad school next fall?

It just seems like we’re at odds to “having it all”. When does everything just fall into place? Regardless, I know I’m the luckiest girl in the world to have him by my side but I can’t help wanting it all! Feel free to share thoughts, suggestions or success stories of others who have been in our position! 🙂

At the end of the day, this is what matters. Etsy

Forgive me Father…

A mere 14 days into No-fry-August, I failed. I’ve been having a rough couple of days emotionally (for virtually no reason at all, minus my completely-legitimate time of the month excuse) so Rob caved and snuck me some fries because he couldn’t take my spiraling depression. Yes, my boyfriend fed my emotions with junk food. And God bless his heart for that, he even insisted he take the fall for it. But I’ll deal with my emotional eating on another day, when my hormone levels aren’t bouncing off the walls. Someday I will conquer no-fry month, *shakes fist* somedayyyy.

Blog Angels Halfway point

I signed up for Blog Angels with Craftbiotic and The Dreamy Meadow because I loved the idea of helping out another blogger anonymously and to be honest, I want to be doing way more! I’ve been taking a few steps back on my own blog so I haven’t been as active reading and commenting on blogs as much as I’ve wanted to. I’ve posted about her blog in multiple social outlets and I’ve even been sending her giveaway link out in some of my emails. The blogger I was picked to “angel” is so lovely and I want to help her more, I’m just afraid our audiences might be a little too different and I might not be helping enough! I like to think I’m making something of a difference but I’m dedicating the last half of the month to doing more! Here’s to the rest of the month, helping a fellow blogger out. 🙂

Happy Hump Day loves!


19 thoughts on “They’d give US a house?

  1. Omg this blog just gave me minor anxiety… I plan to be in the housing market in the next few years… let’s OoVoo about this some time. I need some girl chat. Love you!

  2. I have not input on the housing/wedding situation as I have no experience in either. Good luck though, I’m sure you’ll eventually figure out what is best. Two weeks is still good on the fry front. I love all things potato and could go for some fries right now myself. Maybe try again in February, since it’s a nice short month. 😉

  3. Evani! Such a wonderful yet scary life decision. We bought a house AND had a wedding the same year… we actually closed on the house 1 month after our wedding. Let me know if you need any advice or have any questions, I’m happy to help you any way I can! 🙂

    xo, Yi-chia
    Always Maylee

  4. Well, I can speak for both.
    Homeownership is NOT a determining factor to maturity or adulthood, it may be considered as a social status that requires more than just signing on the dotted line (and a million pages that makes you want to sell your soul to the devil) – It is overrated.
    Great you own a home, now what? Maintain it, decorate it, insure it, update it, paint it, patch it,maintain it, clean it, protect it, maintain it…yes, maintain it. Learn to fix minor holes, leaks, scratch, rot. And then always have reserved funds for emergency major fixes like the garage door only opens halfway, the refrigerator icemaker is not making ice, sprinklers are not sprinkling…
    It will always be a “great” market for home ownership when the buyers are definitely ready to take it on…financially, emotionally, physocally and pyshoclogically…
    Good luck on your journey to figuring out what it right for YOU…g2

  5. Oh to own a home… wasn’t that the American dream for so long? I’m so scared to do it… I think if you’re confident and comfortable and ready to take it on you should go for it! Good luck to you AND can’t wait to hear what you do.

  6. I’m old fashioned too and would want to be engaged, more preferably married, before buying a house together! I’m sure if you planned correctly that you could afford a house and a wedding at the same time…you’d just have to be smart about the wedding and make sure it’s not crazy ridiculous expensive and buy a house that may not be your dream house but something that is suitable for the time being =)

  7. mmm interesting because me and Rob have no interest in buying a house yet once we’re married. why? because we want to travel and move around places. Yes, the market is great for buyers (sucks for sellers, sad sad… and I have a dad who’s a Realtor/Broker), but you GOTZ to read the loans and contracts and etc. It’s one of the biggest purchase you’ll ever make.

    and yes, i’m old fashioned too 🙂 engagement, wedding, then a home. Rob & I haven’t settled yet on where to settle down once we’re like, united as one and rollin’ around like an awesome family of 13 (he wants 11 kids. jk… next brangelina? not! oh hell nawww… i can’t even stand kids right now!) since we want to move around to NYC and go back to Indonesia (which I’ve told him where I want to raise my future kids) and from there we’re not sure where we want to settle. Our point is, no commitment. We can move where ever & whenever we want. Once we found the IT place/city, then we’ll decide to settle down.

    YET, that’s me.

    If you’re gonna go purchase, go for it. I want to be there for the BBQ House Warming.

  8. Tough decision. Unfortunately if you’re waiting for the perfect time, the perfect time probably won’t come. But I understand what you mean. If I were in the same position I would have no clue what to do. Good luck with whatever you guys decide! I’m sure either way it’ll work out in the end!

    Blog Angels sounds amazing! I’m definitely going to sign up next time! Can you send me her giveaway link? I’d love to help you help her!

  9. How exciting for you two!! I don’t think there’s ever a “perfect” time for anything. Marriage, house buying, having sprouts, etc. Wish there was it would make things a whole lot easier 🙂 Good luck with your decision, and looking forward to hearing about it! XOXOXO

  10. Stopping by from Angesls.. My hubby and I rolled the 3 MOST stressful things in life together into 9 months.. we got married, bought our house and had a baby.. 11 years later and we are still going strong living in our 3rd house with our 3 kids! It all works out in the end .. but you have to do what works for you!
    Amie @ Pinkapotamus

  11. I don’t think you’re old fashioned at all for wanting to be engaged before you buy a house. A house is a HUGE purchase so that’s understandable! On the other hand, things are really looking good for you buying-wise! I work in real estate and I can tell you that the market is slowly on the upswing, so opportunites like this may not be around much longer BUT like I said, it’s moving up slowly so don’t rush for the sake of rushing either. I think it just falls to what you are comfortable with. If you’re not comfortable buying a house and planning a wedding at the same time – don’t do it. It will just add stress to the situation!

  12. whaaaat, possible house buying? holy moly. I love this. Also, $190,000???? girl, get on it. haha
    I do agree with some of the comments, but I am all for doing what feels right and makes sense. Personally speaking, I would be willing to buy a house before getting engaged / married, but that is just due to the future that Matt and I envision together (which is marriage is waaaaaaay in the future). If it all feels right and you’re ready to be a homeowner, then go for it!

  13. God I hear you on the house thing! My boyfriend and I have been together for 4.5 years and are on our now 4th year of living together. Because he’s in med school and I’m applying, we’re neither getting married nor looking for a house. I WANT to get married and make it official, and I WANT to buy a house that I can decorate and paint and buy for, but it’s not the right time for us. I wish it was though 😦

    Keep us updated on what you guys decide though – and just remember, it will all work out in the end 🙂

  14. This is an awesome post, E! SO COOL about the blogging angel thing, what a cool idea. And even cooler about the house!! I have no experience in this area and, while nearing 30, the idea of buying a house completely terrifies me. I don’t know if I’ll EVER do it, unless my future husband is loaded or something. 😉 Regardless, you are certainly lucky to be with Rob, and I think it’s typical of our generation to want “it all,” so don’t feel guilty for feeling that way! That said, I think it’s good to keep yourself in a reality check and be grateful for the things you do have, while striving to build upon those blessings with dreams that you’ve yet to realize (if that makes sense).

    And DAMN, girl, I am impressed about your No-Fry challenge. A couple of them from Rob during this difficult monthly time is totally okay! I’m also laughing at myself because when you said *shakes fist* I was like “shakes?! Where? I want a chocolate one!” Yikes. I think I need a “no shake” month! 😉

    Can’t wait to see how the excitement unfolds for you, friend!


  15. I’ve been there before! I don’t think you’re old-fashioned to want to be engaged before buying a home together – it’s such a big committment that it’s nice to know you’re not going in alone. (i guess that applies to relationships as well as house-buying, haha!) Anyway, I was job-hunting, house-hunting & wedding planning all at the same time, 5 years ago. It was definitely the most stressful time in my life, and I would never wish 3 major life changes on someone at one time, but somehow, I made it through! Yes, there were bumps and arguements and tears along the way. But I kept reminding myself that it would all work out in the end. And it did. My husband and I have been married 5 years (we dated for 7), have a job that I love, and we found a great starter home (condo), which we just upgraded from. Whew, this was lengthy! Sorry! Everything will work out for you! Trust Fate, don’t be afraid of leaps of faith!

Thank you so much for commenting! I read ALL comments and I truly treasure every single one! :)

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